Monday, January 28, 2008

Random Thought #12983

If I was deaf, I'd organise dinner parties for non-deaf guests and after a tasty dinner I'd suggest we play some parlour games. I'd let one of my hypothetical guests choose the first game, after that we'd have a nice dessert wine and then I'd always suggest we play charades.
And I'd fucking win everytime.
Having sign language in charades is like having a waterbottle full of EPO in the Tour de France.
And provided you were swift with the hand movements, your guests would be none the wiser. Mind you, you'd need a hypothetical co-conspirator, but that wouldn't be hard to sort out. Everyone wants to be a winner at charades.
Especially when all it takes is three swift hand movements and you can be all: "All Along The Watchtower! Jimi Hendrix!"
Hell yeah! How you like that hypothetical guests? Lured here with the promise of dinner, you're now forced to bow before the charades talent of your deaf host. Mwahahaha!!

See, I think my 'positive outlook' thing is a pretty robust philosophy.

Although if your hypothetical guests whipped out the Playstation and wanted to play Singstar, you'd be fucked.


Fever Dog said...

That would be awesome! You could be stunning them with the likes of "Don't Cry For Me Argentina" and "Love Grows Where My Rosemary Goes" -- time after time, thrashing them.
How'd you like dem apples, you (hearing) bitches?

jiminycricket said...

Hells yeah! haha.. Damn hearing bitches!
I know karma is totally going to bite me in the ass over this and tomorrow I'm going to wake up and actually be deaf.

Mars said...

i always wondered if i'd rather be deaf or blind... and i'm thinking deaf would be the lesser of the two evils. i mean, you're less likely to tragically fall down stairs or off the side of a canyon or something, when you're deaf. and there is always the worlds most annoying game (charades) to be played (and won).

jiminycricket said...

Yeah blind people and canyons shouldn't hang out together.
The only downside to being a deafy would be that you couldn't hear a wild animal stampeding up behind you.
But winning at the world's most annoying game would definitely make being trampled by an Elephant worthwhile.