Tuesday, January 22, 2008

As if by magic...

... the sun comes out!

What the hell, England?
Just when I've made up my mind that I hate your weather and that you're generally a pretty miserable little island, you piss all the clouds off and fill the office with warm sunshine.

The downside to this is that your last 9 months of damp, grey darkness has rendered my skin translucent and now this sudden burst of toasty brightness is giving me a sunburnt pancreas.

I'm putting the 'cool' back in tentacle... *

I don't think I've ever been this pale... I'm all see-through like a jellyfish or something.
Which would be fine if I was bobbing about absorbing nutrients and stinging unwitting children somewhere in the Pacific, but unfortunately, I'm not.

Can't wait to get back for an Australian summer.

*Worst jellyfish pun ever. Sorry.


non-Blondie said...

hahaha your puns suck.

And what children do you know bobbing around in middle of the Pacific ocean? Just what have you been up to Mr Jiminy?

Also, if Englands weather thinks that one day of kinda sunshine is going to make me forget 8 months of raining misery, it's wrong. WRONG! Although the sun is nice.

I'm starting to get worried about going back to the harsh Australian sun, where it's not hidden behind a thick cloak of clouds. We'll lobster right up.

jiminycricket said...

You leave my puns alone.
*Pats puns reassuringly*

And yes, I fear that we may indeed burn up upon re-entry to Australia.
An investment tip for everyone: Sunscreen and skin soothing product stocks are set to soar as of mid 2008.

Fever Dog said...

Having lived in England all of my life (aside from a brief spell around the start of this century where I moved to a desert community), my skin is so sensitive to the sun it is considered an allergy.
I am allergic to sunlight.

Just as well there's so little of it around here.

Mars said...

hey bad news kids... mid 2008 isn't the australian summer! in fact, 2 weeks ago, i was in australia and it was forty fucking three degrees in melbourne. MELBOURNE!!! which kinda makes it summer RIGHT NOW. and yeah, it was waaaaay too hot. so i came here.

i'm almost cured of my whinging about the heat now. especially now as my rad tan is fading. booo.

jiminycricket said...

FD: A desert community!? Whereabouts? Also, for some reason when you said 'at the start of this century' I automatically thought, 1900's. Which made my brain short circuit a little.
England is a good place to be I think if you have a light allergy. Especially in my office, where they rarely let in natural light.

Mars: It's true, I know... But having been away from Aus since November 2006, I haven't had a proper hot summer since the start of that year. So July in Melbourne is going to be better than any summer I've had recently and I think I need to ease into the whole sunlight/warm weather thing before I take my pasty ass down to Elwood in December and spontaneously combust.
Make sure you mourn your tan or you'll never come to terms with it's loss and then you'll get heaps of dodgy English spray tans and go orange.

Fever Dog said...

The term desert community makes me sound like one of those hippies in Easy Rider, trying to grow crops in the sand -- where really, I lived in Salt Lake City, which in the words of the Beach Boys "girl for girl has the prettiest of the Western states".

Also, I was under the impression that nasty fake spray on tans were commonplace down under, where the sun was too fierce for it to be advisable to lie under it for very long?

jiminycricket said...

FD: I swear I replied to this ages ago.. Stupid technology. Oh well...
I think I made a comment about Utah being the land of snow, desert and mormons. Would that have been an accurate summation?
What were you doing in Utah?
And yes, wherever there is vanity, there is nasty spray tans. So Australia has some, but not of the same order as the ones those burberry clad social blessings we call chavs are sporting.