Thursday, January 10, 2008

And now for something completely different.

A farm is kind of like a giant playground, but with heaps of things that will kill you.
As I grew up, I despised my parents for my horrible upbringing. Whilst my friends hung out at the beach, I was rounding up cattle in 40 degree heat. Whilst they rode around on BMX's, I was vaccinating sheep. Whilst they were flirting with girls, I was dragging a breeched calf out of it's mother's giant bovine vagina by it's placenta-coated hooves.
Sexy, no?
While everyone else was growing up normally, I was a victim of child labour. Slaving away because I was told it's what i had to do. Pull my weight.
And I hated it. I cursed my parents for putting me through it all, but looking back now, I wouldn't trade it as i had so many experiences that were so absurdly bizarre, it actually makes for good entertainment, even if the joke's on me!

I'm going to put the whole nostalgia thread on hold for a bit but I'll punctuate my future whining and complaining with some more stories of rural dysfunction.

So, next time you're back be prepared because I'll probably be complaining about the state of society or something.
Either that or I'll be full of joy as I've recently managed to convince the boss to take me out of my current role of drudgery and move me into something much more interesting.

More to come soon....


Fever Dog said...

Surely your boss has a pregnant cow or something he needs your help dragging a calf out of? I bet he wouldn't even know where to begin gripping its hooves...

Anyway, I'm a first-time visitor today, but I'll be coming back

jiminycricket said...

Hi fever dog, I hope my boss doesn't have any jobs like that for me. It'd be hard to explain to my colleagues why I'm elbow deep in a cow all of a sudden.
Thanks for dropping by too!

Andrew said...

I got off lightly with my growing up on farm experience. Burn the rubbish and fetch a billy of milk were my jobs, admittedly younger person. That sort of thing really must round you out as a person, and yes, great for conversation, sometimes!

jiminycricket said...

That's a good way of looking at it Andrew. Rather than considering myself deprived of a childhood, I'm going to appreciate that I've had an interesting and well rounded upbringing.
And it can be good for conversation, although birthing a calf is sometimes hard to work into dialogue.
"Oh yeah, I agree that the anyone existing below the poverty line has an almost impossible struggle to regain their sense of social inclusion and... Oh wait, that reminds me of this time I was dragging a calf out of...."