Monday, January 14, 2008

A Milestone in Pants

After a short hiatus, I've returned.
I was struggling for things to write about... I even had a go at the meme the girl did, but after a couple of hours of soul-searching I realised I couldn't come up with three things I was passionate about, let alone eight.
This was quite upsetting and I got rather angry at myself for having no direction and not being committed enough to stick at something long enough to develop a passion for it.
I mean, there's probably 10 things I really enjoy doing and that (I think) I am quite good at. The problem is, I lack the guts to pick one of these and stick at it. My biggest concern being I don't want to pick one thing then realise a year or two down the track I really wanted to be doing one of the other things I enjoy. How can I be sure that whatever I pick is what I actually WANT to do and am passionate about?
Thus my internal conflict raged on.
Long story short (and reinforcing my feelings of lacking in the commitment stakes*), I ditched the meme. I was looking forward to sharing my impeccable musical/cinematic/literary tastes with everyone, however you'll have to wait a little longer before the height of good taste in all things is revealed unto you. Or something...
Feeling frustrated and dejected, I got ready for work this morning.
After a small incident, which is to be described in a moment, I had the sudden realisation that I HAD actually achieved something!
Hooray, today marked a milestone!
The milestone being that until today, never EVER in my 23 and a half years on this earth had I ever had dysfunctional zippers on absolutely every pair of pants I own.
That's right people. I hear your gasps of shock and amazement. I am totally a winner.

Whilst dressing this morning, the zip on my favourite Original Penguin pants decided it hated all the up and down business and the two sides of my fly decided to go their separate days.
It was a cold walk to work today. Especially for the boys**.
This travelling caper is for chumps. Funds are limited and I don't want to buy tonnes of clothes only to have to pay more money to ship them back home or alternatively lug them all over Europe.
As such, I currently own 4 pairs of pants: Three pairs of jeans in varying colours (blue/grey) and my original penguins...
I liked the original penguins because not only were they suitably cool, they were also completely intact. Until this morning.
Now my entire collection of pants are kept in check by a sole safety pin, which I have to pull out of one pair and put into another whenever I change pants.
This means any time I'm wearing pants (which is most of the time), they're precariously slung about my hips held up by a tiny silver pin and a fuck-tonne of willpower. And sometimes a belt.
If you see me, standing on the tube, awkwardly grasping at my crotch, I promise I'm not a creep, I'm just being stabbed in the pubis by a dodgy safety pin. I thank you in advance for ignoring me and pretending nothing is happening.
Anyone else had any milestones at late? Also anyone have any advice for fixing pants?

* It's ok babe, I'm not lacking commitment in the relationship department. Don't make me sleep on the couch! Please! I have no pants to keep my legs warm!

** Yes, I'm talking about testicles.


Fever Dog said...

I wondered who that guy was on the tube in a penguin suit, grabbing himself... I just presumed that "penguin pants" were a brand I didn't know -- but he/you really were dressed as a penguin.

I also struggled to find 8 things I was passionate about, so my answers got kind of lame... I think you should skip that part and just fill out the others. Or else it can be "8 things I really quite like".

non-Blondie said...


Amanda said...

Talk about 6 degrees of separation. I came here via your comment on Jay's blog, since I get bored and new faces are something different (new faces? new bloggers, I guess). Then I worked out that you and non-Blondie are attached... and THEN I worked out that the meme you attempted to do I had tagged non-Blondie with. So what's that? One degree of separation?

Then I thought "Yeah! I could collect the whole set!"

I just want to say A*mazing was the best show in history, I was nearly involved in the starting of a major bushfire in state forest too (although it was no one's fault, stupid car caught on fire... then the fire spread to the bush), and my favourite pair of pants, which I wear to work two or three times a week have a broken zip too, and it's pissing me off.

jiminycricket said...

Haha Feverdog. I wish I wore an actual penguin suit to work. Maybe I could get a job as a linux mascot or soemthing. I might go back and have another try at the meme soon.

non-blondie: NOT ON THE COUCH!

Hi Amanda. One degree! It's like the Kevin Bacon game, but with non-Blondie.
Lol at 'I could collect the whole set'
Maybe we can find a support forum for arsonists with broken pants who are searching for keys in a maze?