Friday, February 15, 2008

Weirding out the checkout guy.

Context is an important thing.

Due to yesterday being Valentine's Day, I thought it would be nice to do something for The Girl.
We're not big into buying 8ft plush pandas with heart shaped stomachs that say "Me wuvs you" when you squeeze it's hand or edible fluffy pink underwear that has a flashing LED in the crotchal region.
No, none of that. I decided I'd make Non Blondie a tasty dessert for when she got home from work. I came up with an awesome plan, but alas we didn't have any cream.
Realising the supermarket would be shutting soon, I dashed down the street making it through the doors as the security guard tells me 'Closing in five minutes."
I nodded and ran to the dairy section, grabbed some cream and headed to the checkout.
The guy behind the counter glanced up at me.
By this stage I'm breathing heavily (from the running), possibly looking red faced, desperate and buying only a tub of cream. And it's late on valentine's evening.
The checkout dude smiles cheekily, squints one eye and nods. I read this with complete clarity.
What he's saying is "Ooh yeah, Nice one. Whipped cream. Bit of the ol' in-out hey?"
I just smiled back and left.
I really could have really messed with him and bought a cucumber, some KY, some clothes pegs, a 2 litre tin of olive oil, some rubber gloves and 5 rolls of cling film, but I only had a pound with me.
Also, I only needed some cream to go with the berry coulis and tasty pikelets I'd made.


When i used to work in a supermarket back when I was at high-school, I used to wonder what on earth some people were doing when they'd come in and buy seemingly random unrelated items. It was a fun game to try to work out what they were doing with them.

An apple, a pack of band-aids and some whiskey?
Either the guy you're serving is a shaky, self doubting William Tell or you're dealing with a self-harming, malnourished alcoholic.

A watermelon, a melon baller and some vaseline?
It's either a creepy lonely guy or a fruit-salad making chef with bad chafe.

Doritos, bottle of coke, a bouncy ball, aluminum foil, hundreds & thousands and a tin of peas?
Definitely a stoner. Or Christmas at the orphanage.

Then I realise The Girl and I do the same thing. I found a receipt from the supermarket the other day which was for some salami, two big toblerone bars, washing detergent and custard.

I don't even know...

8 comments:

Amanda said...

Is that photo your own? Because seriously, I'm salivating over here. I think I'm going to have to obtain the relevant ingredients when I go shopping tomorrow.

jiminycricket said...

Amanda: Unfortunately no. My camera is still out in my bag at the airport lost property.
Mine looked heaps better though. I think Non Blondie has a photo of it.

Ingredients for the pikelets are from the link in the post and the coulis is just made up of a handful of raspberries, the juice of a lemon/lime and about 1-3 tablespoons of castor sugar to taste. All smooshed and reduced in a saucepan and then strained. That's it! Super easy!
Maybe it's incentive to get you to go food shopping?

Andrew said...

I have wondered about this. So they check out chicks/chaps do take notice when you buy three unrelated items. There have been times when I have put some very odd and unrelated items on the belt.

Fever Dog said...

Even better is if when checking out with your whipped cream and the checkout dude gives you a wink you say "Man I hate being single on valentine's day" -- that would really mess with his head.

I think this could become a competition though -- buying random selections of items, then making leading remarks to the checkout operator.

Incidentally, did you know the author William Burroughs shot his wife when doing their William Tell routine?

Moxie said...

There's nothing you can really buy with condoms that doesn't seem weird. I also used to work at a grocery store, and yes, we do judge you on what you throw on the belt. :)

What in hell is a pikelet?

jiminycricket said...

Andrew: They sure do. I got a very interesting insight into a lot of people's lives through what they put on the belt.

FD: Ha, I didn't think to do that. The competition sounds like a good idea. 2 pounds, 3 items, 4 words and the aim of the game is to make the cashiers head implode.
I did not know that about William Boroughs. Too much whiskey, not enough band-aids by the sound of it.

Moxie: Yep, condoms taint anything else you buy no matter how innocent it might seem.
And pikelets are like mini pancakes but kind of lighter and fluffier. They rock. You should try making them. Recipe's in the link in the post.

the boy who likes to... said...

What a very nice gesture. My missus would be well pleased with something like that, isntead I tell her how rubbish Valentines Day is and how it makes society false (I do actually dislike Valentines Day, this isn't a thing to get out of buying a present.

I'm pretty sure there have been times when I've bought some strange stuff and thought to myself, I bet this looks weird.

jiminycricket said...

Rob: Yeah, we're the same. There was no cards or chocolates or any junk like that. I don't think enforced romanticism defeats the purpose.
I challenge you to up the ante and ONLY buy things which seem weird in combination!