Monday, March 10, 2008

And just like the prodigal son I've returned...

Ya huh bitches.
That's a lyric from House of Pain's 1992 hit single 'Jump Around'.
"Tryin to play me out like as if my name was Sega" is another lyric from the same song.
Halcyon days of rap they were. I mean " as if my name was Sega". That's a damn compound similie or something referencing a gaming console!
Shit is tight, motherfuckers.

Anyways, I'm getting off topic.

I've brought the blog back up. (Or if House of Pain were phrasing this, it would go "And just like a motherly bird, I've regurged.")
Apologies for any confusion caused by the sudden disappearance. I don't think there's going to be any dramas, so am fairly confident I'm not gonna be fired anytime soon. Hooray.
Still though, not a great deal of internet connected free time at the moment, so posts will be kinda sporadic for a little longer.

In the meantime, here's an issue I have.
I have stupid sausage fingers that don't always press the keys my stupid sausage brain tells them to.
As such I'm frequently mistyping things, often with interesting results.
For example, the 'c' key is close to the 'v' key, and with me not being particularly well versed in the art of touch typing, 'v' often boldly presents itself where it's not wanted. Kinda like when I put on a beard and a trenchcoat and turn up at the kindergarten, but way less creepy. Or vreepy as it would be.
Also, my fingers get ahead of themselves and i end up putting words in the wrong order. For example, 'odrer'. Nice one Cabtaim Dyslexia.... (See what i did there! Wow.)
Anyways, this is usually not so much of an issue, but my work dictates that I use the words "Culture and The Arts" quite frequently in my day to day typings.
Whilst checking some copy, I found some glaring errors. Here they are demonstrating how a few small typos can make all the difference.

"...the course recently took place at the Centre for Vulture and The Arts."

"... possibilty of increased funding for businesses in creative sectors, including Vulture and The RAts."

I suspect the Vulture and The Rats sector wouldn't be particularly profitable, what with them feeding off rubbish and carcasses. Although that seems to work quite well for the legal sector.
Z!ng. See, I do scathing too...

Here's a student at the Centure for Vulture and The Arts*

I call zeez one, "Carrion"

On that lame-ass note, I leave you for now.
"Word to your moms I came to drop bombs"
Thanks, House of Pain.

* With my mad paint skillz, I would totally get a Scholarship at the Centre for Vulture and The Arts, if I was a vulture.


Dune said...

haha those are mad paint skillz.

Personally, Vulture and Rats sounds much more interesting (and unique) than Culture and the Arts (one of those heinously over-used phrases).

My favourite lyric from that song "I'll serve your ass like John MacEnroe" hahahaha <--- that's gold.

surviving myself said...

house of pain references make monday's not so bad.

Fever Dog said...

This would have been even better if I thought you had really got out your seat and jumped around. Maybe you could try working House of Pain lyrics into conversations with your boss, just to confuse her?

And personally, I think whoever put the C next to the X should have thought again -- there's too much potential for accidentally writing "sex" when you mean "sec" in wholly inappropriate conversations.

Mars said...

everyone present and accounted for...?

right. good. proceed.

Amanda said...

In my line of incredibly shitty work, I have at times cause to type significant on a highly regular basis. But I'm also wholly incapable of getting it right. Signitficant cisnigicatn, significant, siganificatn... see? It just doesn't seem to want to come out of my fingers the same way it looks in my head.

I htink (think is obviously another word I have issues with) Vulture and Rats would make an excellent pub name.

Technodoll said...

hmm... Vulture and the Rats... great band name, yes?

or could be a new brand name for sausages or sumtin. Yummay!

Glad yer back!

Ashley said...

I love it! The initial laughing-out-loud-at-work, though-I'm-not-supposed-to-make-noise fit was even better once I saw your illustration for the Vulture Center of the Arts. If colleges weren't so discriminatory, we would probably see a lot more vultures earning Fine Arts degrees. But I suppose your place of employment aims to change that.

jiminycricket said...

Dune: Thanks! I'm a bit porud of my ability to draw rubbish picturees with the simplest imaging program ever!
And yes, mentioning John McEnroe in a song is one of the coolest things a human can do.

Surviving myself: They are one of the few things which can make mondays bearable.

Jay: Lol... Let's just pretend I did a herap of jumping. I remember reading the lyrics in the booklet that came with a cassette tape I had in like 1993, it said "Jump up jump up and get down [jump x21]" THAT is awesome.
Also, it's always bad telling someone you'll be back in a sex.

Mars: When did you turn into a primary school teacher?

Amanda: I know. I mangle so much stuff, it's just not funny anymore. I totally agree that the Vulture and Rats could be the best pub name ever.

Technodoll: EWWW! Gross sausages! Also, hells cool band name. Except the lead singer would have to change his name to Vinny Vulture or something. Cos that'd be punk as fuck.

Ashley: I know- Vultures deserve equal rights! Especially ones that can draw good and stuff.
You have to be quiet at work? That sucks hey- i got told I smile at my computer too much....

Fever Dog said...

If you smile at your computer too much you're obviously having too much fun and not working hard enough...or else you *really* like your computer. I used to have a postcard of Avril Lavigne stuck to mine, that made me smile.