Weirding out the checkout guy.

Context is an important thing.

Due to yesterday being Valentine's Day, I thought it would be nice to do something for The Girl.
We're not big into buying 8ft plush pandas with heart shaped stomachs that say "Me wuvs you" when you squeeze it's hand or edible fluffy pink underwear that has a flashing LED in the crotchal region.
No, none of that. I decided I'd make Non Blondie a tasty dessert for when she got home from work. I came up with an awesome plan, but alas we didn't have any cream.
Realising the supermarket would be shutting soon, I dashed down the street making it through the doors as the security guard tells me 'Closing in five minutes."
I nodded and ran to the dairy section, grabbed some cream and headed to the checkout.
The guy behind the counter glanced up at me.
By this stage I'm breathing heavily (from the running), possibly looking red faced, desperate and buying only a tub of cream. And it's late on valentine's evening.
The checkout dude smiles cheekily, squints one eye and nods. I read this with complete clarity.
What he's saying is "Ooh yeah, Nice one. Whipped cream. Bit of the ol' in-out hey?"
I just smiled back and left.
I really could have really messed with him and bought a cucumber, some KY, some clothes pegs, a 2 litre tin of olive oil, some rubber gloves and 5 rolls of cling film, but I only had a pound with me.
Also, I only needed some cream to go with the berry coulis and tasty pikelets I'd made.


When i used to work in a supermarket back when I was at high-school, I used to wonder what on earth some people were doing when they'd come in and buy seemingly random unrelated items. It was a fun game to try to work out what they were doing with them.

An apple, a pack of band-aids and some whiskey?
Either the guy you're serving is a shaky, self doubting William Tell or you're dealing with a self-harming, malnourished alcoholic.

A watermelon, a melon baller and some vaseline?
It's either a creepy lonely guy or a fruit-salad making chef with bad chafe.

Doritos, bottle of coke, a bouncy ball, aluminum foil, hundreds & thousands and a tin of peas?
Definitely a stoner. Or Christmas at the orphanage.

Then I realise The Girl and I do the same thing. I found a receipt from the supermarket the other day which was for some salami, two big toblerone bars, washing detergent and custard.

I don't even know...